It's just like the Real World with babies
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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