I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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