I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
