More tranny stories later!
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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