I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I want to be your penis for a week.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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