Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
