Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
my poor anus
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
