...so i touched it.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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