i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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