Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
