I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize