Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
