Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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