she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
