Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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