If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Found the puke drawer
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
