I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
