If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
May the power of my ass compel you!!
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
