So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
