yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
