I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Use "feeling words"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel