Texts From Last Night

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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling

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  (651): But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling http://tfl.nu/6n5a
  Replies (1) Good night (522) Bad night (872) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??

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  (317): There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas?? http://tfl.nu/74h0
  Replies (59) Good night (1894) Bad night (3123) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..

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  (916): You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you.. http://tfl.nu/8fyi
  Replies (24) Good night (818) Bad night (9078) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well

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  (401): its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well http://tfl.nu/qkzl
  Replies (20) Good night (1375) Bad night (5212)
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  (562): View more from California

  I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset

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  (562): I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset http://tfl.nu/nrla
  Replies (6) Good night (3093) Bad night (1095) Order T-Shirt
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?

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  (270): How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night? http://tfl.nu/sgi1
  Replies (13) Good night (871) Bad night (2767) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.

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  (610): Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions. http://tfl.nu/3hq7
  Replies (6) Good night (1662) Bad night (879)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.

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  (352): Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american. http://tfl.nu/kvmq
  Replies (11) Good night (1745) Bad night (699)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?

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  (828): is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear? http://tfl.nu/pkiy
  Replies (1) Good night (731) Bad night (1475) Order T-Shirt
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"

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  (228): He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good" http://tfl.nu/hwu1
  Replies (33) Good night (6560) Bad night (965) Order T-Shirt
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex

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  (808): Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex http://tfl.nu/i4z0
  Replies (13) Good night (498) Bad night (2950) Order T-Shirt
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.

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  (604): I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away. http://tfl.nu/d7d8
  Replies (5) Good night (509) Bad night (695) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.

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  (419): You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell. http://tfl.nu/iyko
  Replies (5) Good night (1064) Bad night (286) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."

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  (860): When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed." http://tfl.nu/60fs
  Replies (0) Good night (476) Bad night (147) Order T-Shirt
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  (941): View more from Florida

  im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna

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  (941): im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna http://tfl.nu/nksh
  Replies (1) Good night (431) Bad night (236) Order T-Shirt

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