I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
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