I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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