"it" just moved
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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