i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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