Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
