idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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