Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
