the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
