she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
