If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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