Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
