something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Randomize
