You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Text me some of your sweat
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
