He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
