i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize