In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Can I color on your dick again?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
