I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
