I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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