That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
