I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
