when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I think I sprained my soul last night
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
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