There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize