It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
