I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
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Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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