I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
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