The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
