have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
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