R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
