Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
