apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
