she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
false alarm. still invincible.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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