is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize